SERAH HOPE AMANI

So, what's in a name? Like the name gracing this blog post title today...What's in it? Well, I could say that there is so much in a name. A whole lot that could fill volumes upon volumes of books.

Serah Hope Amani for instance is the newest member of my family. Born on Father's day, June 16th 2013 weighing a whooping 4.2 Kg! This is exactly 3 days after we celebrated the second birthday of her brother, Ethan-Norman! We seem to have perfect timing for the month of June...and the father's day timing was simply a bonus blessing! 

Serah Hope Amani

You look at Serah and you see nothing but newness. You see nothing but promise. You see pure innocence and total dependency. You also see amazing calm and assurance that all is well. I actually nick-named Ethan her brother, 'Mr President' because at that age, anything he said (Cried for) had to be attended to immediately and it mattered less whether the request was granted or not! It just had to be attended to immediately.

Serah Hope represents so much. What this lady can do, time will tell.

• She could very well be Kenya's first woman President that is if it would not have happened by the time she's 35
• She could be the UN secretary General
• She could be a great mother and matriarch,
• She could be a great business lady travelling from one continent to another, generating profits,
• She could be a great compassionate worker, spending her life for the voiceless
• She could be a songstress, out-striping her mother,
• She could be a great radio personality following her parents' footsteps,
• She could be a great wife and mother,
• She could be an awesome youth leader

In other words, there are boundless possibilities for my little bundle of joy. I however do not believe that she could be anything she wants to be. There is nothing of that sort. You cannot be anything you want to be, you can only be all that you potentially can be!

Serah Hope has come already packaged, yet with one blank thing...the mind. In fact there is absolutely nothing I can do as a parent to create a newly packed Serah Hope. 

There are however two possibilities: I could either accentuate her package...or I could slow it down to stagnation. Such is the powerful mandate of parenthood. Parents are not owners! Am sure all the parents of teenagers already know that revelation. Parents are stewards! In other words, we are responsible for the best possible outcome of the life of another human being for more than half their life-time. In fact, we are to some measure, directly responsible to laying down the correct foundation for their Life Signatures!

The Girl Has got cool hair!

According to Rick Warren, the author of Purpose Driven Life, Serah Hope Amani has come to our lives with the following packages in the acronym of S.H.A.P.E.

1. Spiritual Gifts: First off, Serah Hope is an eternal spirit. Selah! She is a pure spiritual being that has been packaged into the physical body that we can see, feel and touch. That is why it beats logic that an atheist for example would not believe in God. Is it any wonder that they would claim they came from a chimp...amazing how a human being can say he was once a chimp (yet we still see chimps), but that stand easily explains away the spirit part of human nature. As a parent, I cannot give her these spiritual gifts. It is God who has packaged her for whatever reason that he has brought her on earth. She will not acquire these gifts as she grows, no she will just discover them with time. My responsibility as a parent is to help her nurture these to the maximum potential.
2. Heart: This speaks of a special passion that God has already placed inside her heart. That explains why I am passionate about Legacies more than I am about saving buffaloes. It's a heart issue. I think one of the greatest adventures of parenthood is to allow great room as possible for Serah to fully wrap her heart around something worthwhile in life. Music? Dancing? Human rights? Child care? Environment? Only God knows.
3. Abilities: These are innate talents. Am so grateful that already Serah has some innate talents! I know she's versatile because on her second day on earth, Serah can already hold the milk bottle by herself! It is another pure adventure to see what abilities God has put inside of Serah. I can't wait for this blessed adventure.
4. Personality: The all critical one! I have never understood myself. As a teenager, I used to be so outgoing, an extreme sanguine. Later on, I just changed. I am cool, calm and collected, shunning publicity at all costs, yet with the kind of passion I have, I need to be before people! Serah has a personality already, quite different from mine, my wife Beth's and her brother Ethan-Norman. Being at peace with that personality is a prerogative of her parents.
5. Experiences: Aha! This is where my stewardship will count. True, her life experiences will be totally different from mine and her grand parents! For example, her grand parents had never driven a car. Her dad owns one. Her dad is Kenyan, Her mum is Ugandan, and shortly, she will be living in West Africa with her dad, mum, and little brother. What Serah will experience is two fold. First, it is all within my control.
   
    The environment I allow Serah to interact with is fully under my control. It should nurture her to the maximum capacity to bring out her life signatures. My Words, the words around the environment we live will shape her life view and her values (That tells you that TV will be shot dead in my house). My actions,  the actions of the people around her will determine what kind of behavior she will pick. I am totally responsible. On the other hand, there are some experiences that will come Serah's way due to the choices that she will make. Either way, these experiences will help shape the person that God wants Serah to be. Non of those experiences will be wasted.

So, as this new life begins, I know that it is a humbling responsibility to nurture this bundle of joy. I remember reading a book long time ago called, "Growing up is a family affair", where the author says that the parents grow together with the children.

Our growth with Serah Hope has begun. This will be definitely a Life Signature!

WHAT IS FATHERHOOD ALL ABOUT ANYWAY?

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." --Mark Twain

Father's day is not officially celebrated in Kenya. In Uganda, It is celebrated every 21st June. In the USA, it is celebrated on the third Sunday of every June. That third Sunday makes it most popular as the Father's day world wide.

You have probably heard that Mother's day is more colorful that Father's day. You probably heard of the story about how men in a certain prison sent thousands of Mother's day Cards to their mums, and just a few cards on Father's day. Why is that?

Some years back, while I was leading a mastermind spiritual group, I posed this question to the several men in my meeting: "Who among us does not have serious issues with his father?" Not one person disputed. All of us had serious hangups with our dads.

Fathering is such a powerful thing. Without a father, there is no life. That simple concept should have all #Atheists re-think their philosophy again. I can emphatically say that nothing exists without a father. Creation itself has a Father.

The most crucial aspect of fatherhood however is propagation after your own kind. This means that what I do as a father today is not in any way an isolated incident. Fatherhood speaks of seeds! Fathers not only carry seeds for life, but they also carry seeds for legacy with each day they live and do things. Nothing goes unnoticed in the end!

So really...what is fatherhood all about? Well, after all the action heroes we see in movies for two hour sessions have faded away...what is left off of real examples of fathers?

Well, my take is that Fatherhood is not all that complicated. Why? Well, men (who are mostly fathers) do not have the capacity to handle lots of details at a go. Fatherhood is simple! At the most basic level, fatherhood involves providing, protecting, being a friend, and caring.

It is all about the following:

1. Keeping Your Word: A man, a husband and a father who would keep his word, keep his promise no matter what is a true representation of fatherhood the way it should be. His word is so valued you could take it to the bank. Women are so trusting in nature and they easily take in words that we give them. Children are in fact used as examples for having faith. They trust so readily and so easily. A true father keeps his word to his wife and keeps his word to his children. So what happens if he cannot keep his word? A true father would be devastated. A pretender father would not remember, so he would not feel anything.
2. Staying Power: Fathering is all about commitment. Can your wife count on your support in the long run? Can your children count on you prioritizing them over other things? How long are you available as a father? Men tend to vacillate when things get tight unlike women. A true
   
   father stays and stays and stays and stays. Their loyalty to God and their family is unwavering. A father remains a father in steadfastness at all times and at all seasons. This does not mean that he is not tempted to take an easy way out. However, in spite of the temptation, a true father remains supportive of his wife and children.
3. Nurturing: To be honest, any man can deposit his seed into a woman and a child is formed. Top on the list of what scares pretender fathers is this statement: "I am pregnant!". Some pretender fathers will respond by accusing the lady claiming that "the baby is not mine". Some will sweat bullets and disappear out of her life. Women have been gifted with this wonderful ability to nurture life from conception...till death. I kid you not! I have always wondered how my own mum would call me every time I am in trouble...I wonder how she knows...how she senses it...and I have told this to my wife who marvels all the time at this ability. But here is the thing, a true father will do everything possible to help mothers nurture the children to maturity. In other words, a true father will take care of his seed!
4. Giving Vision: The biggest crisis we have in the world is that of leadership. This is largely because leadership is becoming extinct at the family level. A true father has a personal vision and a family vision! He speaks this vision over his family in their hearing and in their absence. He depends on the Divine to see further than the mother and the children would see. A true father is a master dreamer for his family. I have always told ladies to shun any man who does not have a vision for life. I have always told the ladies to beware of men who are not passionate about anything. Such like living dead men will be overrun with the responsibilities of fatherhood unless something massive in resolve happens to them. Let me repeat: A true father has a vision.
5. Honor: A true father honors his wife...whether she is present or not. Many men (especially pastors) have this knack of 'showing off' their spouses in public. Am not against it. Anybody can do that...in fact, it is generally expected of you to do so. Real honor however is when nobody is watching....and to a good extend, when your wife is not there! How do you honor her? Your character honors her. A person who honors his wife will constantly communicate, prophesy, comfort, teach, and lead. The best way a father can honor his children is to honor their mother! Nothing nurtures a woman more than being honored by the husband...and really knowing for sure that the husband honors her. He will know what she cherishes. He will seek to provide it. He will keep learning and growing and learning and growing in a bid to keep honoring his wife.

Like I said, fatherhood is not complicated. It is a simple calling. Simple things however are not necessarily easy to do.

A happy Father's day to everyone out there! Enjoy!.

HOW TO MASTERMIND YOUR OWN RECOVERY AND COMEBACK

"The only cure of a painful past is the vision of your future"—Mike Murdock

Brace yourself, this is going to be a lengthy read.

We, as human beings have been created with extreme versatility than we realize. In Biology for example, we learn that the white blood cells fight immediately, any foreign entity that enters our body. You get hurt and start bleeding, almost immediately, a mechanism is set off to rectify the situation.

For those of you who love statistics, sample this one: 6 Thousand Years, more than 7 Billion people, 100% of the Males, 100% of the females, all the 6  continents (or whatever correct number it is) , agree to the fact that failure, disappointments, injuries, death of loved ones, drug abuse, sin, unbelief, loss of investments, missing the cut to get to University and so on are part and parcel of our lives!

Whether these challenges are inflicted on us by others or by life itself (natural occurrences) or whether we mess up and attract the challenges does not really matter. That they are there is an indisputable and unavoidable truth. It is folly for you to seek safety/security, comfort and coziness this side of heaven. Jesus said, "In this world, you will have many tribulations..."

"Getting knocked down in life is a given. Getting up and moving forward is a choice." -Zig Ziglar

 
Your ability to mastermind your own comeback is essential to building your Life Signature. You cannot get out of life safe. In fact, the Life Signatures definition for success is "the continuous ability to master challenges." 

Here is the thing about a comeback. A comeback is not survival. Survival is important, yet never the intention of the Divine for our lives. Survival is the first step of your comeback. So do not settle there! A comeback oozes strength that causes us to not only be back on the scene, but also to thrive despite the just overcome challenge.

A comeback makes you an ambassador of hope, a deliverer of multitudes that are stuck in the same challenge that you have just mastered! God does this. That's why His Son Jesus had to walk where we walk, feel what we feel. He understands. That is why medical science can never come up with a vaccine that does not contain the virus that they are fighting! That is why they say that a healed bone is stronger in the aftermath of being healed.

Believe me, I have had my own fair share of challenges (you can skip this if you want, it's all negative)

• I scarcely survived a gas explosion as a kid in our house.
• My dad lost his job before I could start my primary education and stayed that way for decades,
• I was moved from Town to the village with no explanation, where I spent all my childhood,
• A teacher in primary school daily made fun of my family situation: Working mum, jobless dad,
• I walked around barefoot, suffered the jiggers menace yearly for seven years,
• I lost an elder brother and great friend before I was 15,
• I failed to get the cut off points to get to University,
• When I got to College, my now Pastor dad was wickedly transferred to another town...and I had nowhere to stay and finished my course, at least no money to pay for hostel accomodation.
• I heard, experienced and was reminded daily that we as a family are poor,
• After clearing college, with nowhere to stay, I had to retreat back to the village,
• The first girl I fell in love with (must have been a crush) slept with a 'friend' then,
  
• I had three or four more broken love relationships,
• I messed up one day and my own dad told me that he was no longer my dad,
• I failed to pay rent for a one room 'Servant Quarter', so broke that the landlord instead of demanding his money, used to give me food.
• I had my stuff locked in a rental house before due to non payment of rent,
• On three different occasions, I have spent time in Police cells. Once, I spent time overnight at police cells. Once I was released after being held the whole day thanks to the intervention of a Lawyer. Lastly, I spent two nights in police cells due to an accusation that could not be proved.
• I bought a second hand Benz that had an engine knock just weeks after the purchase,
• I quit my first job excited by an interview I attended then missed it, staying jobless for a year or so.
• I have been thrown out of a rental house and my belongings confisticated for failure to pay rent for four months.
• I had two major accidents in a space of one week; rolling with the car I was driving, and knocking a two year old girl few days later with another vehicle...

To be honest, people have gone through worse, no doubt! Of course, others have less 'pressurizing lists' like: "I did not have sausage for breakfast". And that just proves my point. Everyone has their fair share of challenges. 

The most recent one I went through was self inflicted, and I have published an article here about it. Being a Christian, sex before matrimony is a sin...but that is exactly what I did some time back.

I went through the 'comeback steps' to such an extend that I was able to serve the very church organization that I was a part of. To date, my 'challenge' is so forgotten that I have to bring it up myself like I am doing now. What many remember is my fragrance, my help, my ministry. I could say that that was one of the major comebacks I have ever been part of in my life.

You want to mastermind your own comeback? Here is exactly what you need to do.

1. Build A Bridge: OK, not literally. The worst thing people do after a failure is make decisions before they settle! "I will never attempt running again....I will never allow my heart to be broken again...I will never have another child..." Those are sample statements that you hear. The problem is that people make these vows in the heat of the moment, in the valley of failure. They could never be more wrong! Build yourself a bridge. Allow yourself some time to cool off. Take some time off. Take your mind off the failure. Make a decision much later, not immediately.
2. Dare to Dream Again: "Maybe, God wanted me to stay single". You hear that after a lady's heart has been broken in a relationship. You do not make a lifetime decision in a moment of a dip. Your current reality is so fickle. It is not fixed. It could change. It could chance once! It could change after some time. So take some time and dare to dream again. Dare to dream even bigger than the last failed attempt. This time round, dream of a hunk with all the wonderful qualities you desire. You will never experience a come-back if you do not seize the chance to dream again!
3. Tell the truth and Face the Truth: The reason why most people never get a comeback is that they fall into that illusion of hope. This is critical to understand. Abdicating everything to hope is wrong. You need to face the brutal facts of your current situation. However bad it is, face it and tell it. Humans have this great relief that comes from facing and knowing the truth...whoever dreaded it seems. You can never have a comeback without communicating exactly how brutal the state is for you right now. And here is the thing: The earlier you face the truth and the brutal facts, the earlier you effect your come-back. It helps you generate options, the very thing that failure seems to tell you that you do not have!
4. Stay 'in the game': It is Martin Luther King Jr who said the following: 

   “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward". 

   I couldn't agree more! Whatever it is that you are facing, the worst you can do is to totally count yourself out of the game. A comeback is not an instant event. A comeback is a slow and gradual event. The best you can do for your comeback is to make sure that you are still doing something towards the goal that you have/had. Nothing is more powerful in a comeback than this. This is where the battle is lost or won. If possible, find a substitute to engage in, something that does not demand so much from you at the moment. Lower your expectations. Extend the time, but by all means do something...or anything to stay in the game.
5. Find a stuck individual to help: Have you noticed that your problem could be that you have no sausage for breakfast, yet you can find a host of people who have not eaten a decent meal in three days? Find such like folks. Focus on helping them as much as you can. Empathize with them. Right then and there, your comeback is being effected in a major way. You have no idea how long it will go when you are fully back. This is extremely powerful to do. It could very well be the substitute I am talking about in the previous point. This is major, believe me it is!
6. Get a sounding board: Never ever, ever, ever allow yourself to be alone. No man is an island. The devil kills through isolation. The lions hunt by targeting to isolate one zebra from the flock. As much as you can, surround yourself with a mentor or someone caring. Surround yourself with someone who has suffered the same thing or close to what you are suffering. Hear their stories. Listen to their struggles. Be in the company of over comers and not losers.
7. Never ever ever lose sight of the goal/vision: This is it. No matter what you do, never allow yourself to lose the sight of what really matters to  you daily. The worst thing you can do right now is to focus on that which made you fall, that which discourages you. The best you can do however, is to put all your focus on what inspires you--your vision or goal. Nothing is more important to you right now than having that desire fulfilled. Against all odds, the battle is to make this vision remain as clear as possible in your mind. The battle for your life is the battle for you to hold on your dream regardless! This is good insanity if you may, defying and believing against all odds. Take a step further and verbalize this vision. Give yourself the greatest speech ever! Your latter is greater than your past! 

    7.5  Forgive: OK, this is a bonus point yet extremely critical. The earlier you forgive yourself as well as others, the better for you. You give yourself a good head start to recovering. Some people need to forgive their parents...a host of them. Some people need to forgive their pastors....another host of them. Some need to forgive their spouses. Some, a very good number need to forgive their former bosses. Unless you unconditionally forgive, your comeback becomes delayed.

So there you have it. I know that a comeback is needed in our lives not just once, but again and again and again and again...UNTIL we become masters of our own Life Signatures.

Let me drink to your come-back. Cheers, Over to you!